stupidly smart things to say
presented by Stefan Piscitelli (IM: nineandtwentyone, Email: caramelfrog@hotmail.com)

"so i'll be there some kind... some time kinda soonish."

"yea huh! you spin your spaghetti."

"SMILE AND SAY SHIT!"

rubber ducky & squeaky clean BOXERS

"I LOVE LAUREN GULLET!!"

HOTTEST freshman/sophomore/junior/senior.

as kristin opens the fridge... "Oh! Goo!"

"that's going on my rebsite"

"my mom seddy i could..."

"and if his parents want him to skop stating..."

"so, maybe he'll not recognize you and you'll be in the blue.  
or the green or red. whatever you want to say.."

  "quick, someone knock laurie down the stairs.  
you know she's never gonna knock anyone up."

"laurie comfort.... yea and that's all i need to say."

BEASTLY STEPHANIE

"a religious ritual performed by the Geeks.. i mean Greeks"

"i'm hungry" "i know"

"i have a really big head"

"what's the deal: my head is huge and my body is emaciated in this picture."

"I swear, if he does that, i'll shit"

"yeah, if i ever buy a whore and find out that she's diseased, 
i'll be like 'damn, no wonder i got it so cheap."

"i want to be a bum.  i wanna drop out of school and
live in a cardboard box in my room."

"you're a hoppeldinger"

"this makes me want to shit"

Telli, Elly & Ispho!

laurie is as straight as a horn

Ange the big red monster!!

"everytime i see him, he reminds me of jesus"

"remember... keep your clothes on for atleast
three months and after that no sex"

"but be sure that he loves you and is
completely whipped before you have sex"

New Hope on May 3rd, 2002.
The BEST DAY EVER!

"yea, he held his breath for like 
one minute and sixty seconds"

"it's only for shits and giggles"

"didn't she die on a crane plash?"

"how can you read backwards letters
by holding them upside down?"

while reading the part of Creon in the greek tragedy Antigone aloud to the class: "...there are places enough for him to push his plow.  i want no naked... i mean wicked, wicked women for my sons.'

"woah! coldy."

"moo moo, buckaroo."

"they're trying to portray the giraffe as jesus.
i find that a mockery to my religion and i refuse to respond."

"i gave myself a monkeybubble"

"it makes me giggle."

"FALL PLAY IS CANCELLED!!"

"i'm horny and i want potato chips"

"plaid is the new pink."

"mom, you can give labor to four kids, but you scream
like a banshee when you hurt your leg?"

"FUCK OFF AND DIE"

"stefan, you make me pee"

"the wedding was jewish... even though they aren't jewish"

"ladies and gentlemen, kiss my ass."

"so yea. how about some casual sex.
i'll bring the markers..."

"well stick your finger up there and find out"

"and this....this is what a herpes outbreak looks like...
ooo i might wanna put some more cream on that, 
hold on i'll just be a minute"

"now here's the part where ya have ta dip me back 
and kiss me like those retarded ego maniacs 
that just wanna get laid"

"you still have to carpet the vacuum"

"I DROPPED MY CHEESEBURGER!"

"you are so beautiful to me... hanging orangutan by the neck"

"i need to go buy my dorney tark picket"

"at use least the good end."

"my tongue is blue" "so are my balls"

"why doesn't your pocket go over any further?"

"one time i was in the bathroom and i didn't have any
toilet paper so i had to use a page of my agenda book."

"1-800-SEX-ME." "No, it's 1-900."
"Oh that's right, didn't you work there?"

"Well, my girls will be Hailey Elizabeth Wooler and
Skylar Mackenzie Wooler, and my boy... I like the
name Ian." "How about Ian Maxwell?" "Hm... no..
how about Ian Pathological Liar Wooler?"

"*makes a fist*" And as I express a shocked
look by opening my mouth.. "BURP!"

"He's supposed to not have sex at all BURP!"

"There's a circle on your booby tit thing."

"Maybe they're gonna rape you."
"Wait, hold on, quick, I'll put a tampon in."

"Would you like a hoodie?
It's a little willy... i mean chilly"

++Laughing without a reason... look into it. lol.++

"God didn't make my other significant"

"Where's the road!" "Oh, there it is."

"Do you know where we are?" "Yeah, sure."
(20minutes later...) "I lied, we're lost."

"I see dead penises....."

"Sing my guestbook."

"You are an interesting character."

"Yo yo postage stamp."

"You don't sound too happy." "Do I sound?"

"And the first person to get into a car crash,
by a vote of 7 to 1 is Laurie!"

"Do you take it?"

"Finland, Rhineland, when did we cross the ocean?"

"How the hell did we end up in Montgomery County?"

"Are the doors locked?"

"Speed limit is five."

"Oh look! People!"

   "Left.. left.. left.. Why is it going left?!
We want right, right, right!"

"That name has too many consonants."

"Let's scream really loud and
see if the other drivers hear us."

"Mr. Nortavage is the hottest teacher."

"My dad takes it and gave it to the bartender."

"Courtney, stop drinking out of your dad's beer can!"

Mr. Kraft: "You're all capital L Losers!"
Students: "Well, you're capital F Fag!"

"Where does this road go?" "I dunno."
"Ok, let's take it."

"Why is the road white?"

"I almost hit a bird, a squirrel, and a groundhog.
Aren't you proud of me?"

"I'm going to have a rainbow wedding."

"He's wearing an American flag shirt today."
"What, he's wearing an American fag shirt?"

"Yea, can you talk about me any louder?!"
"I can't! I'm drunk!"

"fuck you." "Ok... wait what did u say?"

"got iced cream?"

"He's wearing a pineapple shirt...
he's awfully fruity today." "He's always fruity."

"What? No, I will not rape your mother."

"Because you touch yourself at night."

"Shake shake shake, shake your chicken."

"Yea, if you like chlorinated gum."

"Are you talking?"

"Then save it on a floppy lisp!"

"Ok, cya, bye."

"Somebody door the shut!"

"Laurie's mother is Usama!"

"Cuz Harry Potter takes it."
"Yea, from Hermione... Or from Ron."

"I don't have a pie hole."

"I think J-Lo lost her ass." "Where?"

"If you could see me right now,
i'm giving you the middle finger."

"Look at Laurie's muscle!" "Laurie, do you know how
it gets bigger there?" "Wait, is this my jerk-off muscle?"

"and she said that Anna was supposed
to give me a mouthful... i mean earful."

"I said I think your boobs are well-rounded!"

"Wooo!"

"She has old woman boobs,
but that just means she's mature."

"i don't wear the pants in this
relationship. i'm just naked."

"you could hear the cheer crowding."

"i want a straw smallberry milk shake."

"do you have large cones?"

"yea, i'm playing The Swims Hot Mate."

"hey debile."

"i am the Advil that makes you laugh.
just swallow me down."

"Holler!"

"she looks like a man!" "no, she IS a man."

"why is there a stop sign
in the middle of a field?"

"ew why is this spicy?!... omg, it's the spicy kind!"

"is that a person?!"

"AAH!!... dammit, the light scared me."

"just go east, east always gets you where
you need to go... unless you're on the other
side and in that case go west."
"but we're going south right now."
"well.. we started out east dammit so just go east."

"i had sex last night!"
 "i find that hard to believe."

Courtney: "ooh! look at the house!"
John: "you mean the one with lights?"
Stefan: "and with the driveway?"
Kristin: "and the yard with the fireflies?"
Courtney: "no, the one with the big front door."

"I want to wear a hard hat."

"hey Stefan, do you wanna go out tonight
with Courtney, Stefan and John?"

"Fun-Knee! Get it? Fun-knee!"

"I'm more virgin than you!"

"Wipeout!" 
"...did you say 'my bowels?'"

"I havn't gotten any lately, that's why i'm so cranky."
"But Courtney is still cranky..."

"You know that one sex position..." "YEA!"

"if i could only find my elonic.. electronic address book."

"you know that one posex sition?..."

"Spit in the ocean, spit spit spit.
Here comes another one, tit tit tit."

"she's got vacation money nestled away in her ass."

"Aren't your nipples hairy?"
"No."
"I was talking to Courtney."

"Just go straight and then make four lefts.."
"Wait, what does that make?"

"Did you ever eat Jacker Cracks?"

"i'm gonna name my dog You Little Fuck."

"My butt itches." "Omg! I just said that!"

"I've been walking around with a stupid look on my face."
"Wait, was that different than your other looks?"

"Aw, it's Buster! Now tell me it's real
name before i keep calling it that."

"he's probably like, 'can i buy your wife for $100.'"

"i was reading a bed on my mom..."

"i almost pissed.. i mean
i almost spit out my soda."

"i feel like Aladdin on the magic carpet... or Jasmine."

"i need some ass for me gas."

"badump, badump, badump (etc.)"
"SHUTUP!"

"they have winted tindows."

"hamster crabs change shells, not clams."

"ask for no luacamole."

"how should i smell it?"

"i got my creamy italian dressing on my pants."

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

"he doesn't like girls." "he probably thinks
they have cootchies.. I MEAN COOTIES!!"

Kids: "Dad, why are you wearing girl sunglasses?"
Mom: "It's ok, they're bisexual sunglasses."
Stefan: "You mean unisex?"

"If i ever commit suicide, play this song at my wedding."

"Courtney, your fly is down."
"Zip your lips Courtney!"

"it pinda kut me in a weird mood."

"it smells glood."

"my chesticles hurt."

"Look under the cutchion for the remote."

"God Yess Blou."

"that scar car the shit out of me."

"courtney, take me home
so i can please my mother."

"*balloon popping*"
"Omg! was that a gunshot!?"

"Holy Chit! What was that?"

"I want to be a tv star
because I like to show myself."

"We should put it on the seeds because
it's like...a woman's... seeds."

"We should go to the goochie mama dance club."

"What are you supposed to do?
Knock yourself in a room?"

"um... shock it to me."

Stefan: "Wow, look at the stars!"
Kristin: "Watch the road!"

"Wait, watch your step!" "Oh jigga."

"I don't know why his fingers were there,
I thought he got lost."

"you just raped what you saw."

"once aton a pime....."

"I heard you out of the corner of my ear."

*blink*blink* hint hint

"What about the Virgin Mary?"
"She's your mother."
"Yo! Jésus is my brotha."

"I never really wanted Cinderella."

"And watch, It'll be packed jammed."
"You mean jam packed?"

"My boobs are SO huge."

"Look, it's snot."
"It's not what?"
"No, it's snot!"
"It's not what?!"
"Look, it's phlegm."

"Someone told me Millersville
was a carty pollege."

"*frustrated noises*
mm.. that reminded me of hamburgers."

Yvonne: "You must have an A in this class. 
What do you have?"
Kristin:  "An 85 percent."
Yvonne:   "See!"

"Yeah, Al Pacino died in there... or wait, Al Capone.  Who's Al Pacino?"
"He's an actor..."

"hold on, i'm updating my sight."
"you mean site?"

"And my little friend's brother..."

"And she woke up in the middle of the name..."

"do you kiss your mother with
that mouse... mouth... AGH!"

"did you just say she had tits in her hair?"

"Did you know that the first part of analysis is anal?"

"...the guinea pig"
"What? I thought you said Kevin Bacon."

"What are we doing?">
"We're doing a wrab lite up."

"A turkey sandwich on mayo with bread"

"Why does everyone always lose
their shroos at your house?"

"And What about my piece manus?...
lol oh christ...
freak me."

"Are you chafing dad still?"

"you'll need someone with a quick finger."

"That, yea too."

"Virgina is my lover."

"I can do an old woman,
but I can't do an old man."

"I dropped my FRYYYYYehYYYYYehYYYYYYYYYYY"

"Mm.. that's a good lemon"

------------------------- newest --------------------------

"Milk... It can only be described, as milk."

"Freak me."

"Where is Edward Scissorhands?."
"The H's are over here guys..."

"Obviously, I'm the dumb one."
"No you're not! You're smark!"

"Just push play and fuck me."

"So what was Lynn's name?"
"KRAFT!"

"She's saying people should close their mouths?!
She should close her legs!"

"OPERATION CLEAN UP Q-TOWN. COMING THIS JUNE."